Don’t look down!
(for this to make sense, you probably need to read the previous post)
Once you get the idea of how this Ladder works, now find some sample college admissions essays that you like. See if the writer shifts back and forth between the specific and the abstract. (Just jot down “show” when they are specific, and “tell” when they get abstract.) In general, the major shifts will occur between paragraphs, but you can vary within sentences as well.
When you go to write your own essay, review your outline and rough draft to make sure you are making the shifts. If you start with a specific incident or describe something, then make sure your next paragraph or so you shift into the abstract to explain it or reflect upon it. Then make sure you shift back to the specifics. And so on. If you start with a broad, general statement or paragraph, make sure you quickly shift into specifics.
In general, the specifics are the juicier writing. Who doesn’t like a good story, or a vivid example or a powerful description? The abstract, however, may take a bit more patience, but that is what gives meaning to your juicy writing.
Sorry, here’s another metaphor: The specifics are like candy, they go down easily and quickly, whereas the abstract is more like ice-cream, yummy but very rich. Too much of either and you can start to feel sick.
It’s really a matter of balance. Too many specifics and you get overwhelmed, buried in the details. Too much abstract discussion and you start to float away in the clouds, and drift off to sleep. The best place is to just keep moving—up and down that ladder.
How to Structure a College Application Essay: Climb this Ladder!
Best Advice On How to
Write a College Application Essay That Rocks!
“The Ladder of Abstraction” is one of my favorite writing tools, especially for writing narrative pieces such as college admissions essays. It is a wonderful way to give structure to an essay without imposing one of those five-paragraph essay formats.
“The Ladder” is a lot simpler than it sounds: Basically, it is making sure you vary your writing to go back and forth between the specific and the abstract.
The “Ladder” image means you go down the ladder into the specifics (the gritty details), and up the ladder into the abstract (the ephemeral clouds). To write well, you need to go up and down constantly.
The shifting between the specifics and the abstract makes your writing engaging and dynamic.
See if this makes more sense:
To be specific, you use details (Remember those “concrete details?”) you describe, you tell stories/anecdotes, you give examples, you use dialogue/quotes, statistics, you use descriptive language to create images, feelings, you use the Who, What, When, Where and Hows, etc.
To be abstract, you explain, you reflect, you interpret, you address the metaphorical or figurative (comparisons, similes, etc.), you are more general, broader, you explore the Why.
The specifics help you make sense of the abstract. The abstract helps you understand the significance of the specifics. To communicate effectively, you need both. To write well, go back and forth between them, zoom in and zoom out, over and over. (There is no strict rule of when you shift in writing, but in general you will see it from paragraph to paragraph.)
Here’s another way to think about the Ladder of Abstraction:
When you are specific, you SHOW the reader what you mean.
When you are abstract, you TELL the reader what you mean.
Going up and down the ladder in writing means you Show in a paragraph, then you Tell in the next paragraph, then you shift back to Showing, then again to Telling, etc. You can start an essay by either Showing or Telling, but make sure to shift right away. In essays, I prefer Showing in the introduction because that’s usually more compelling “grabber” writing.
To throw in yet another metaphor: This process is like using a camera. When you get specific, you zoom in close to your subject so you can “show” the reader all the little details. When you get abstract, you zoom out and take in the larger picture so that you can “tell” the reader what these details mean and why they are important in that broader context.
More later…if you can’t tell, I love this approach! If you want to learn more on your own about how to use the ladder of abstraction in your writing, check out this powerful list of Writing Tools by Author Roy Peter Clark, which includes my favorite writing tips from his amazing writing guide, Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer.
Ready to write? Start with my Jumpstart Guide!
Think You Have Nothing to Write About? Here’s Something to Smile About
A new client, who I will call Sarah, met with me for the first time to talk about topic ideas.
When I pressed her about her interests, her hobbies, her passions, she kept insisting that she was a well-rounded, strong student, but didn’t have any one thing that stood out about her.
It’s a common obstacle in writing these essays.
Students think they need to have climbed Mt. Everest or invented a better paperclip to justify a strong topic.
These students just need to slow down long enough to see what is right in front of them: the often mundane (ordinary; everyday), yet fascinating qualities, habits, goals or characteristics that make them unique.
I gave Sarah a few examples of this idea: the student who wrote about her wild red hair; the girl who liked riding the public bus system and used that to “show” her sense of adventure and openess to all types of people; the student who wrote a tribute to his TI-83+ calculator; the girl who wrote about her prowess as a karaoke queen.
After listening to these ideas, Sarah kept insisting she really didn’t have anything special to write about herself.
She thought for a few more minutes and then said quietly, “I smile a lot.”
Bingo!!
I had only spent about ten minutes with Sarah, and I had noticed she easily broke into a wide, beautiful smile.
Sarah even smiled when she talked.
It was as though she couldn’t stop herself.
“My mom says I’m always smiling,” she added, smiling.
What a perfect topic for an essay.
Sarah’s constant smiling obviously was a big part of who she is, and all she had to do was explore what this meant to her, how it affected her relationships and experiences with others, maybe develop some metaphors to her smiling and life, and she had a makings of an engaging essay.
As with Sarah, sometimes the best essay topics are so close you don’t even see them. Just keep looking!
If you still don’t believe me about the power of writing about everyday topics for college admissions essays over those you think might impress your college(s) of choice, read this comment from a veteran college admissions counselor (this was posted in the comments section in response to an article called A Few Essays That Worked in the The New York Times‘ blog on college admissions called The Choice):
“I am often asked how to compose memorable application essays out of “ordinary” teenage lives. High school seniors who haven’t won international awards or lived on houseboats or in homeless shelters can feel as if their essays have little to offer. They’re terrified that they will make the same “mistakes” that are highlighted here in “The Choice” (and no wonder … even I–an admissions professional for three decades–had a tough time differentiating between the “good” and “bad” ones!).
I always reply that, during my 15 years of reading application essays at Smith College, many of the most memorable submissions were on mundane topics. One of my all-time favorites was about a laundry mishap at a summer school. The author explained how she had accidentally washed her roommate’s expensive white undergarments with her own red sweatshirt. Of course, the essay wasn’t really just about laundry … it was more about the boundaries of friendship. Other wonderful essays I recall include a hilarious one on playing in a truly terrible school band and another called “Why I Shop at Wal-Mart.”
While there are lots of books out there that serve up samples of “successful” essays, there are two that I especially like that offer helpful suggestions on how to craft your own. “On Writing The College Application Essay: Secrets of a former Ivy League Admissions Officer,” by Harry Bauld (which I’ve recommended for eons) and a newcomer called, “Concise Advice: Jump-Starting Your College Admissions Essays,” by Robert Cronk, both lead students through the composition process and never lose sight of the fact that 17-year-olds can rarely report triumphs—or traumas—that might help their essays stand out in a crowd.
Admission officials really DO want to read about their applicants’ experiences, no matter how “typical,” and they are eager to view them through the writers’ eyes. Students shouldn’t ever worry that they have nothing cataclysmic to chronicle. After all, what could be more “ordinary” than laundry?”
— Sally Rubenstone, Senior Advisor, College Confidential
Writing Tips: From a Master Storyteller Teacher
Roy Peter Clark was a famous writing coach when newspapers started directing their reporters to tell the news through a story-telling format in the late 70s and 80s, a genre called New Journalism and made famous by Tom Wolfe.
(The main difference between New Journalism stories and your college essays is that your stories are told in the first person, as opposed to the third person. It’s all narrative writing.)
Here’s a link to his 50 tips, and podcasts: https://www.poynter.org/column.asp?id=78&aid=103943
My favorite tips, when it comes to writing college essays, are numbers 1, 8, 9, 10, 14, 20, 21, 22, 24, 32 and 34.
(With each podcast, Clark elaborates on the tip with examples and further insights–if you have the patience and are a good listener. I’m getting the book!)
Listen to the Lamb
In a recent profile in O magazine, novelist Wally Lamb talked about teaching autobiographical writing to female prison inmates. Although many of these women have juicy stories to tell, Lamb asks all of us, “Which of us is so self-aware that we could not reveal ourselves more deeply by reflecting on our lives with fingertips on the keyboards?”
Lamb, whose most famous novel is called She’s Come Undone, has this to say about revision. (Revision is that painful word about what you do to your writing after you crank out a rough draft. It’s really what good writing is all about.)
“Learn to love revision. Listen to suggestions about what you might add, cut, reposition, and clarify in your work-in-progress. Welcome such feedback with gratitude and humility, returning to your words with sharper insight. Make mistakes, lots of them, revising draft after draft of your continuing story. Your errors will be educational, and if your pencil outlives its eraser, then you will know you’re getting it right.”
Don’t OD on Adjectives in Your College Essays
Mark Twain, one of the best prose stylists ever ever ever, wrote, “As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.” When we are writing narratives and striving for “descriptive” prose, many of us reach for those juicy adjectives. I’m trying to kick my adjective habit. I now understand that if I need two words to describe something, especially when I use a long adjective and a noun, I probably haven’t found the best noun yet.
In a letter to a friend, written in 1880, Twain said, “I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English–it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it: don’t let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean utterly, but kill most of them–then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.”
I recently stumbled across a sample college admissions essay that was actually recommended by Connecticut College from their sample “Essays That Worked.” Check out the first paragraph and see an adjective overdose for yourself. I don’t mean to pick on the writer, but adjective restraint is something we all can work on. By the second paragraph, she shifts into a much more direct style of writing and the rest of her essay rocks! See how many adjectives (and adverbs!) you would take out:
Olivia Rabbitt ’16
Bishop Feehan High School, Attleboro, MA
The bright blue eyes that alight with unfettered curiosity on the burgeoning bulletin board are not only my own. Nor are the ears that listen raptly to the hum of student life and the gentle sing-song of our tour guide’s voice. Almost in tandem, my companion and I tear ourselves from the vivid vignette of college life and return with unmatched strides to the vast expanses of the campus. As the tour continues, I am neither surprised by the eager questions my companion poses – “Where’s the baseball field?” – nor by the heightened interest painted so clearly across his face. Wandering amongst the tall stone buildings, I appreciate for the first time how much this visit means to my constant companion, my father.
Click HERE to read entire essay.
If you need more help getting started with your college admissions essay, check out my Jumpstart Guide.
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Be Specific…Huh?
Writing experts always tell us, “Be specific!”
But what does that mean?
How do we do that?
Other gurus say, “use concrete details.” Huh?
What the heck are those?
After many years of ignoring this advice, I think I get it.
Instead of saying, “We did a lot of fun things at summer camp,” say, “We raided the girls’ cabin, pulled frogs out of the lake and filled the salt shakers with sugar.”
After you knock out a rough draft for one of your essays, re-read it and look for lines that are bland summaries, and “be specific.” Give details.
Use nouns. Avoid too many adjectives. (More on that later…)
Another way to be specific is to give examples.
If you say you are creative, give an example of a time you were creative. Don’t just say you were creative, but include details about how you were creative.
Example: When I made a self-portrait of myself in art class, I used paper mache and stuck in objects, like shells, sea glass and plant pods, to show my eyes and other features.”
Famous writing coach Roy Peter Clark always says, “Name the dog!” He means in writing, don’t just say “The dog ran across the street.” Instead, say, “The three-legged Bulldog named Rex crossed the street.” See the difference?
How to Handle Sensitive Essay Topics
“Try to write in a directly emotional way, instead of being too subtle or oblique. Don’t be afraid of your material or your past….If something inside you is real, we will probably find it interesting, and it will probably be universal. So you must risk placing real emotion at the center of your work. Write straight into the emotional center of things. Write toward vulnerability.”
This is from Anne Lamott, from her popular how-to writing book called Bird By Bird. (I highly recommend this guide, especially if you want to read one of the best books on learning how to write.)
Lamott takes a lot of risks with her writings, especially in her memoirs, and has the courage to splash all her insecurities, flaws and mistakes all over the pages.
But because she sticks to the often-blemished truth, she is both poignant and hilarious.
With these college admissions essays, I think that you can write the most compelling pieces if you are willing to take a hard, honest look at yourself and life—especially something that you weren’t necessarily proud of but somehow turned around or learned from or changed for the better—and share some of that with the reader.
When you write about any type of problem, include how it made you feel. Open up. Share your thoughts and opinions. Be vulnerable.
It is always a tough question about picking a topic that is too controversial or sensitive when writing college admissions essays.
You certainly don’t want them to think you are a total freak.
But my opinion is that if your topic helps you reveal something special or unique about yourself—go for it!!
One trick when writing about potentially loaded topics is to write more generally about the sensational parts, such as describing someone’s illness or injury.
In other words, if something is really graphic, just provide enough information so the reader understands what you are talking about.
If you get the sense that what you are writing about is a total turn-off or is just trying to shock or push hot buttons, of course, avoid it.
But if you are genuine and truthful, I think it’s worth a try.
Always have someone you trust read your work to get some neutral feedback.
You can always tone it down, if necessary.
Word Counts: Cut it out!
Most of the college admissions essays have word count requirements, as do other questions on the applications. Do not ignore them. Stick to their numbers. If it says 500 words, make sure your essay is under that number. If nothing else, it shows you can follow directions.
If your essay is too long, start cutting. This is a great opportunity to actually make your essay better. My dad, a retired English professor, told his students that one way to gauge the best length of a piece of writing was to think of it as a woman’s skirt: keep it long enough to cover the material, but short enough to make it interesting. (No intention there to be sexist–the metaphor just doesn’t work as well for men’s shorts.)
Seriously, when you trim your essay, you almost always improve it. Read it for redundant words and sentences. A lot of times you will find you say almost the same thing in back to back sentences, even though you might have thought one supported the other.
The best place to start slicing is when you read your essay out loud and you hear for yourself where it starts to get dull or wordy. Trust yourself and cut it out! Also, go through your essay word for word and if you suspect you might not need a word, take it out. Is your meaning still clear? Then chop it!
My favorite color is red, well, maybe…
It is hard to write about yourself. The college essay often asks you to describe who you are, and what is most important to you. Those are tough questions, for anyone.
It’s like someone asking you to pick your favorite color. Maybe you really like red, but not all shades of red. And even though you like it a lot, you also have other colors you really love. So how do you answer? “I think I like red, sometimes, don’t you?” No. Way too wishy-washy. Instead, make the statement as though it were the truth. “My favorite color is red.” Then, if you need to, you can qualify your statement later.
When you write these personal essays, you need to write with authority. Even though you might have huge doubts or uncertainly about your answers (life is gray!), you must assert yourself and your opinions with confidence.
The trick is to use strong, simple statements. Natalie Goldberg, author of “Writing Down the Bones,” describes it this way:
“The world isn’t always black and white. A person may not be sure if she can go some place, but it is important, especially for a beginning writer, to make clear, assertive statements. ‘This is good.’ ‘It was a blue horse.’ Not “Well, I know it sounds funny, but I think perhaps it was a blue horse.’ Making statements is practice in trusting your own mind, in learning to stand up with your thoughts.”
TIP: One way to strengthen your writing is to avoid “indefinite modifiers,” such as perhaps, maybe, somehow, almost, really, very, etc.
How to Show and Tell your Story
One of the best ways to write about yourself is to start with a little story, also known as an anecdote. Not only are these mini-stories compelling and natural “grabbers,” they are an excellent way to “show” the reader about yourself instead of just “telling” them. (Want to learn how to “show” your reader what sets you apart from the pack, and write in a narrative, or story-telling, style? Read THIS.)
So let’s assume you have chosen your story. (Click HERE to find great story topics!) Now, where do you start? Make sure the beginning has the most interesting, dramatic, compelling part of the story–otherwise you won’t hook your reader. It is quite common to “bury your lead,” that is, have the best part of your story, the highlight, the drama, the irony, etc., too far down in the narrative. If this is the case, just bring it up–and background it later.
Start your story at the best part, even if it happened in the middle. Start with the good stuff, the action, the impact, the peak of the problem, the punch of the moment, whatever has the most “juice.” Usually, you will only describe “a time” or moment that only lasted a few minutes. Often, this incident also will reflect on your larger message–that’s why it has that “juice.”
If you start in the middle of your story, and describe the highlight, you just need to quickly take your reader back to the beginning of your story in the following paragraph. You always want to go back and start at the beginning because that’s the most natural way to tell a story: chronologically. That way, you also end at the end, so writing your conclusion is natural and simple.
Read some sample essays that tell stories and note where the writer starts her or his story, and study how the narrative was handled. If you want more help on writing a mini-story or anecdote, read THIS POST on how to write an anecdote. If you need help getting started with your college admission essay, try my Jumpstart Guide.
More on “Show, Don’t Tell”
I remember wanting to improve my writing in high school, and feeling frustrated by all the “tips” in the popular how-to-write books: “Be concise,” “Use action verbs,” and the all-popular, “Show, don’t tell.”
OK, but how do I write better?
Later, I came upon one writing book that made a little more sense, called “Writing Down the Bones,” by Natalie Goldberg.
Here is what she said about “Show, don’t tell,” that helped me:
“‘Don’t tell, but show.’ What does this actually mean? It means don’t tell us about anger (or any of those big words like honesty, truth, hate, love, sorrow, life, justice, etc.); show us what made you angry. We will read it and feel angry. Don’t tell readers what to feel. Show them the situation, and that feeling will awaken in them.”
And she goes on: “Some general statements are sometimes very appropriate. Just make sure to back each one with a concrete picture. Even if you are writing an essay, it makes the work so much more lively.”
One great way to “show” readers is to be specific with your writing and use details! I talk about how to be specific when writing your college application essay in this post.
Put yourself behind the camera
A strong college admissions essay often involves creative writing. These essays often tell a story, or use an anecdote (a mini story using narrative writing style) to lead into the piece. Sadly, many high schools and English teachers don’t have a lot of time to teach creative writing, and focus on more conventional essays (such as those that compare works of fiction, you know the ones, where you use theme, diction, etc.) It’s great to learn how to structure those essays, but often students don’t get a chance to explore creative writing.
A great way to try to switch into writing creatively is to think visually. You have probably heard that you should “show, don’t tell,” when trying to describe something, such as a scene or event. So put yourself behind an imaginary video camera, and point it at a past event and simply describe what you see (or saw).
Pretend you are describing it to someone who can’t see it. You can start with a general, sweeping description, but quickly zoom in on the details. Include those 5Ws, who, what, when, where and why. In general, you usually can’t go wrong when you present information in the form of a story. And if you add visual pictures, it will be even better, like a movie.
Don’t forget, once you pound out your story, full of description and action and detail, remember to go back and slice out the words you don’t need. Read it out loud. Does it bog down in spots? Then cut those. At some point, you will like what your hear–and see!
Check out my Jumpstart Guide to help get you started on your college application essay!
Nobody’s perfect–and that’s a good thing!
Back to my pal Anne Lamott. Another quality that blocks our ability to jump into a writing assignment is perfectionism. Especially if we are readers, we have very high standards of what we consider good writing.
When it comes to writing those college essays, I think a lot of students already have perfectionist tendencies, which are symptoms of the parent-driven push toward over-achievement.
So listen what Anne has to say about perfection when it comes to writing:
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will leave you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft.”
She goes on, “…perfectionism will ruin your writing, blocking inventiveness and playfulness and life force (these are words we are allowed to use in California). Perfectionism means that you try desperately not to leave so much mess to clean up. But clutter and mess show us that life is being lived. Clutter is wonderfully fertile ground–you can still discover new treasures under all those piles, clean things up, edit things out, fix things, get a grip. Tidiness suggests that something is as good as it’s going to get. Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation, while writing needs to breathe and move.”
So no matter what you are writing, go ahead and get out what you want to say and don’t worry if it’s too sappy, or too wordy, or doesn’t make sense. That is your mess. But at least it’s something to work with. Then you go back and clean it up: edit.
That is a basic process of all writing. In fact, it’s the creative process, whether it’s painting pictures or writing songs.
Back to Anne:
“Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist’s true friend.”
(If you like this stuff so far, maybe just go get her book: Bird by Bird!)
Where to start
One of the biggest obstacles in writing anything, especially “essays,” is getting started.
The other night, I walked into my 15-year-old son’s room where he sat at his desk, very distraught.
He admitted up front that he had blown it. The assignment, to write about homelessness for his human ecology class, was given several weeks ago. But he had been absent and failed to find out what he missed, let alone do the catch up research.
Anyway, the rough draft was due the next day. He said he had just spent the last hour staring at his computer screen, trying to write the introduction. He was totally lost and starting to panic.
I remembered the story that one of my favorite writers, Anne Lamott, said inspired the title for her popular book on writing, Bird by Bird.
She said years ago her younger brother, then 10, was trying to write a report on birds that he had had three months to write. It was due the next day. Her brother was surrounded by books on birds, binder paper, pens and paper, and was totally overwhelmed and close to tears.
Lamott’s dad, a famous writer himself, put his arm around his son and told him, “Just take it bird by bird.”
My son had a similarly overwhelming assignment. How do you get your arms around “homelessness”? The subject fills thousands of books alone! So I gave my son similar advice: Don’t try to take on the whole subject at once. You need to break it down into smaller ideas.
Then plug those into an outline. And never, ever, start with your introduction. You have to know what you are going to say first.
When faced with those open-ended college admissions essay questions–along with the impossible expectation that you define the essence of who you are in 500 words–you probably will experience similar feelings of helplessness, dread and panic.
Just remember: Take a deep breath. Relax. Think “bird by bird.” All you need is a plan!
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